should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
