He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
