I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
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