found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Randomize
