Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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