Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
