She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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