U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
