i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
