i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
