Apparently you make a good broom.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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