good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
