What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
