sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
My dick has a subreddit
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
He shit in the fireplace
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
