chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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