Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
