the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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