Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
