He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
