I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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