eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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