Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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