I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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