She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
