I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Randomize
