Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
