I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Panties = found
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
