i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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