So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
