Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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