walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize