Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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