Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
