fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
i out mim tonsoeep
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