i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
zippers are such a cool invention
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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