Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
COCAINE IS GR8
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
