Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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