I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
