Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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