We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
