I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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