saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I just pynch a tree in the face
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
