I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
