If i could tip my vagina, i would.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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