I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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