You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
