I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
you made out with another girl for some wings
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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