4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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