During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
