You just made me feel so damn special
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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