i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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