We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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