so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
