well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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