just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
