areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
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