theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
