my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
operation have a gay friend backfired
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
