Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
