I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
